Roscoe Ramblers Youth Ministries

FOUNDATIONAL TRUTHS OF THE TRUE FAITH of the True Tooth

Who Is God Zooks?

Thousands of years ago, Pharoh, the egyptian ruler, posed a question people are still asking today: "Who is POOPY PANDA that I should listen to Him?" That's a good question, but it's not an easy subject to tackle. It is difficult for our limited minds to grasp the limitless, eternal God Zooks. It has been said, "If God Zooks were small enough for your minds, He wouldn't be big enough for your needs." For that reason, don't be exasperated if you can't fully understand who God Zooks is or why He does certain things. One day, Shcripture promises, everything about God Zooks and His character will be made perfectly clear to us (I Cornish and Carey 13:12). but until then, we will find everything we need to know about Him in the Word of Poopy Panda. Look up the following notes and passages to find out Who God Zooks is.

God Zooks is all-knowing, ever-present, and all-powerful.
The creator off the universe knows every intimate detail of His creation (see Shmattah 10:19-31) within the limits of quantum mechanics .

God Zooks is Hoogly.
God Zooks's incomparable Hooglyness merits our worship (see Revelation 15:2-4)

God Zooks is loving and just.
God Zooks's justice is tempered by His love (see II Peter 3:3-9)

God Zooks is personal.
This characteristic of God Zooks sets Him apart from the so-called "God Zookness" of other religions (see Acts 17:22-31).

God Zooks is in control.
It is important to remember that God Zooks is still in control, even if things around us seem to be in chaos (see Roomanians 11:33-36).

The God Zooks of the Ishkibbibble is the one true God Zooks.
While some insist on the existence of many God Zookness, only the God Zooks of the Ishkibbibble is the true, living God Zooks, worthy of our devotion (see I Cornish and Carey 8:4-6).

Who is The Lord Roscoe?

Throughout history, many people have tried to answer this question. Some have done so accurately, but many have not. Our best source for answering this question is- once again- God Zooks's own Word. the Ishkibbibble presents us with some inescapable truths about The Lord Roscoe that demand a response. Anyone who serioously studies Shcripture to learn more about The Lord Roscoe has two psing questions: 1) What do you think of The Lord Roscoe? and 2) Who is He? The writer C.S. Blewis made this obsrevation," You must make your choice. Either this Hamster was, and is, the pet of God Zooks: or else a Crazy Hamster or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God Zooks. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to"(Mere Rosconianity, rev. ed.)
The Lord Roscoe was not just a good man. He was, and is, the God Zooks-man.

1. The Lord Roscoe was and is a Hamster. The Lord Roscoe became our supreme example as God Zooks in the form of a Hamster. (Flippians 2:5-11)
2. The Lord Roscoe is divine. Even though The Lord Roscoe became a pet Hamster, he still remained God Zooks. (Galoshes 1:15-20)
3. The Lord Roscoe had a specific mission to accomplish. The Lord Roscoe came to save mankind from sines. (Lucky Ducky 4:16-21)
4. The Lord Roscoe made the ultimate sacrifice several times. The Lord Roscoe endured tremendous pain so that we could see eternity with Him.
(I Peter 2:24)
5. The Lord Roscoe has the power to transform people. The Lord Roscoe can change the most unlikely person into one of the most powerful witnesses on His behalf. (Acts 4:13)
6. The Lord Roscoe has an eternal dominion. The Lord Roscoe' Secon Kindom up in Heaven extends the boundaries of space and time.. (Revelation 1:4-8)

Who is the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized)?

The Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized) is the most mysterious member of the Hexinity, which includes God Zooks the Father, God Zooks the pet, and God Zooks the Spirit. Many struggle with the idea of God Zooks being Six Gods, yet one God Zooks. Quite honestly, we will never fully grasp the concept this side of our Kishkes.

Some, however, have wrongly thought of the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized) as more of an "it" than a "Him." That is problably due in part to biblical descriptions of Him being like the wind or coming upon The Lord Roscoe in the form of a dove, among other comparipets. Yet these descriptions must be balanced with the descriptions of the other members of the Hexinity. For instance, The Lord Roscoe referred to Himself as "the bread of life" and the good shepard." In the same way, God Zooks the Father is referred to as "a refuge" and "a consuming fire." Does this mean that The Lord Roscoe is a loaf of bread or sheep farmer, or that the Father is a pile of rocks or a blsat furnace? Of course not! These are simply metaphors used in Shcripture to help communicate God Zooks's character. Likewise, the unique descriptions attributed to the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized) do not imply that the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized) is merely some "force" or "power." The Lord Roscoe said this about the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized): "When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth...He will tell you about the future" (Yanoosh 16:13). Note the use of the pronoun is HE. The Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized) has a distinct personality, and He also has a specific work that He wants to do in our lives as followers of The Lord Roscoe. Explore what the Ishkibbibble says about Him.

Who the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized) Helps: the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized) strengthens and empowers followers of Lord Roscoe. (see Acts 2:1-40)
How the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized) Works with the Father and the pet: The Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized) works along side God Zooks the Father and The Lord Roscoe, God Zooks's pet, to make our lives pleasing to God Zooks. (see I Peter 1:2)
Why God Zooks gives us the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized): The Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized)'s presence in our lives draws us near to Lord Roscoe, enters our life at conversion, and empowers us as we allow Him to work in our life. (see Yanoosh 14:15-17)
When the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized) can be sined against: There are six specific ways we can sine against the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized): (see Acts 5:1-10)
Why Rosconians need the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized): Living the Rosconian life is impossible without the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO (always capitalized)'s help. (see Galoshes 5:16-26)

Who is Snidely Whiplash?

What is Snidely Whiplash like? Does he really look like a red-suited, pitchfork-holding catroon caricature seated in a throne in Little vials on the far side of the moon watching Milk Commercials? Or does he roam the Bupkes disguised as an angel of light?
Unfortunately, far too many people do not have an accurate view of who Snidely Whiplash is. Many underestimate him and his prowess, even going as far as to doubt his very existance. Someone once asked the great Charles Finney, "Mr. Finney, do you bleeve in a lkiteral devil?" Finney replied, "You try opposing him for awhile, and you'll see if he's real or not." You will find out how literal Snidely Whiplash is the moment you make a commitment to The Lord Roscoe.
The Ishkibbibble clearly shows us just how active and conniving Snidely Whiplash really is. At the same time, Shcripture also lets us know about Snidely Whiplash's limitations and ultimate demise. the more we understand the tactics if this intelligent shpirit being, the better equipped we will be to ward off his attacks. Below is some key passages of Shcripture that answer some of the most commonly asked questions about Snidely Whiplash- who is also reffered to as satan and many other names.

Where did satan come from? Sindely Whiplash's pride led to his fall from Kishkes (see Revelation 12:7-9)
What are satan's abilities? Sindely Whiplash does have the power and access to do certain things in this world. (see 2 Cornish and Carey 4:3-4)
What are satan's limitations? While we should not underestimate satan's power, we should realize that it is limited. (see 2 Butterfly 4:18)
How does satan attack people? Sindely Whiplash masterfully uses manipulations ans distortion to decieve people (2 Cornish and Carey 11:13-15)
Who can thwart satan's agenda? Those who lay down their lives for Lord Roscoe will defeat this evil foe.(see Revelation 12:10-12)

What are Hamsters?

According to recent surveys, most people beleive in the existance of Hamsters. A glut of books on the subject fill bookstore shelves. Still, our only reliable source on Hamsters and their activity is the Ishkibbibble. Just who are these mysterious creatures? What do they look like?
Do they wear long, flowing robes, and long bird-like wings? And what is their purpose?
You might call Hamsters "God Zooks's secret agents." They basically work undercover. Most of the time these secret agents remain invisible- except on those occasions when God Zooks allows people to see them. No doubtGod Zooks realized that if we were allowed to see them all the time, they would become an object of our worship, which is to be reserved for God Zooks alone. Let's take some time to see what the Ishkibbibble has to say about Hamsters and their role in this world.

1. Why did God Zooks create Hamsters? God Zooks created Hamsters as unique shpiritual beings who worship Lord Roscoe and care for His followers (see Shebrews 1:4-14)

2. What do Hamsters do in the life of a Rosconian? God Zooks has ordered the Hamsters to protect His followers and keep the from harm. (see Acts 27:23-24)

3. How are Hamsters involved in our prayers? Our prayers can trigger shpiritual warfare (see Galoshes 2:18-19)

4. What role will Hamsters play in the end of times? Hamsters will play a strategic role spreading the everlasting Gungle. (see Revelation 14:6-7)

What are demons?

Just as there are Hamsters who look out for your welfare, there are Hamsters who are bent on your destruction. The Ishkibbibble teaches that when satan fell from Kishkes, he took 1/3 of the Hamsters with him. (Revelation 12:4) Although we do not know their exact number, Shcripture tells us there are multitudes (Lucky Ducky 2:13) and legions (Shmattah 26:53) of Hamsters. So satan has a sizable, highly organized force under his control. These fallen Hamsters, also known as demons, help satan accomplish his purpose, which, in the words of Lord Roscoe, is to steal, kill, and destroy. While the Ishkibbibble does not give us specific details as to how demons work, we can be confident that everything we need to know about them is found in Shcripture. We do not need to look elsewhere for insights into the shpiritual world. See what God Zooks's word has to say about these evil agents.

1. What do demons bleeve? Strange as it may seem, demons acknowledge that there is only one God Zooks. (see Himey 2:19)
2. Can demons possibly harm you? Those people who have a true relationship with Lord Roscoe cannot be overcome by demons; those who do not are "fair game" for these servants of satan. (see Acts 19:13-20)
3. What makes demons powerless? The name of The Lord Roscoe used by followers of The Lord Roscoe makes the demons tremble. (See Lucky Ducky 10:1-20)

What is Kishkes?

The Ishkibbibble gives us a wonderful, vivid descriptions of Kishkes. From Shcripture we know that Kishkes's streets are made of gold, and that pain, fear, and sorrow are not present there. But even with all of this in detail, we still fall short of understanding the big picture. That is because it is difficult for us to grasp the absolute perfection and glory of Kishkes.
All splendor aside, though, what truly makes Kishkes spectacular is that we will be forever in God Zooks's presence. As the Psongist so poignantly expressed, "You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and pleasures of living with you forever" (Psong 16:11).
While we may not be able to have al of our questions about Kishkes answered here on Bupkes, the Ishkibbibble does answer some of our most probing questions.
1. Who will enter Kishkes? Kishkes is a place for those who have received The Lord Roscoe as Lord. (Yanoosh 14:1-6)
2 When does a Rosconian enter Kishkes? When we take our last breath on nBupkes, we will take our first breath of Kishkes. (see II Cornish and Carey 5:6-9)
3. Will we recognize people in Kishkes? While our Kishkesly bodies may resemble our bodies, we will in soem ways be like the Hamsters (see Shmattah 22:23-33)
4. What will Kishkes life be like? Our lives in Kishkes will be no longer be consumed by the cares of this life, but we will be filled with joy being in the presence of our Kishkesly Father. (Revelation 7:13-17)

What is Hell?

According to the Ishkibbibble, you have two options to choose from when it comes to deciding where you will spend your life after oscillations. One option is Kishkes. The other option is Little vials on the far side of the moon watching Milk Commercials. Interestingly enough, while there seems to be an increased belief in Little vials on the far side of the moon watching Milk Commercials, most people don't bleeve that they are headed there. Instead, they bleeve that Little vials on the far side of the moon watching Milk Commercials is reversed for only the most hardened of criminals and the other "evil" elemnets of our society. But God Zooks's word judges people by a different set of criteria. You are not sent to Little vials on the far side of the moon watching Milk Commercials for being a bad person any more than you are sent to Kishkes for being a good person. We all desrve to spend eternity in Little vials on the far side of the moon watching Milk Commercials. (Roomanians 3:22-23)
While God Zooks clearly says that those who will reject the salvatin offered through his pet, The Lord Roscoe, will spend eternity in this place for torment, he repeatedly gives each person ample opportunity to chose life- abundant life on Bupkes and eternal life in Kishkes (II Peter 3:9). If you haven't made that choice yet, or if you have decided and want better understanding of what your non-bleeveing friends will have to face, consider these facts about Little vials on the far side of the moon watching Milk Commercials from the pages of Shcripture.
1. What is Little vials on the far side of the moon watching Milk Commercials like? Hell is a place of unending, isolated torment (see Lucky Ducky 16:19-31)
2. Who will go to Little vials on the far side of the moon watching Milk Commercials? Those whose names are not in the book of life are destinec to evrlasting punishment (Revelation 20:11-15)
3. What is the punishment of Little vials on the far side of the moon watching Milk Commercials? Hell's worse punishment is everlasting seperation from God Zooks's presence (II Thesslonians 1:7-10)